different sides of me..

waah... survey once again... wakekekek! =P

2006-01-06T21:00:00.000+08:00

FACT 1:

Birth date: july 18

What are u doing right now?: uhm, doin' diz i ges.. hehe

FACT 2:
Your?

- Most overused phrase(s):

a.) ano b nmn yan?
!b.) parang tanga lang..

- Thoughts first waking up:
= what to do d whole day..

- Usual bedtime:
sometime wen d sun rises..

- Most missed memory:
= being happy with someone in an out-of-town trip..

FACT 3:

Preferences..?
- Pepsi or Coke: pepsi

- McDonald's or Burger King: McDonals shempre!

- Chocolate or vanilla: chocolate

- Cappuccino or Latte: Cappuccino

FACT 4:

Do you?
- Smoke: yezza

- Sing: wen d time calls for it..

- Take a shower: oh yezz definitely..

- Have a crush: uhm, m not really sure.. maybe

- Do you think you're really in love: yezza, i think i am now..

- Want to get married: but of course.. sooner dan i expect..

- Believe in yourself: yezza...

- Get motion sickness: long trips in d bus... (hard to believe i commute..hehe)

- Think you're attractive: maybe..

- Think you're a health freak: is diz a compliment or insult? hehe

- Get along with your parents: but of course..

- Like thunderstorms: nah, not even a bit..- Play an instrument: piano...

FACT 5:

In the past month, you?

- Drank alcohol : yezza!

- Gone on a date : hu doesnt? hehe

- Eaten sushi: nah, dont like sushi at ol...

- Been on stage: not dat im aware of..

- Gone skating: ice or roller? uhm, i ges both.. but yrs ago..

FACT 6:

- Age you hope to be married: sumwer between 23-25

- Numbers of Children: 2 max, opefully boy and gurl

- Describe your Dream Wedding: uhm, tz either beach wedding or a paradise/nature type of a wedding.. or mybe on top of a hill or wyl doin bunjee jumping! hehe bottomline, something simple but unique type.. doesnt have to be extravagant and of course ol the special peeps in our lives should be der..Ü

- What do you want to be when you growup?: dat im not really sure till now.. ang sad noh!?

FACT 8:
In a boy/girl you would want?

- Best hair color: brown/dark brown

- Short or long hair: nything as long as it suits him and should be always worn nicely and neat..

FACT 9:

List the number of:

- People u trust in your life: mmm.. less dan 20- cd u own: m not sure.. a lot..

- Piercings: 5

- Tattoos: not in a million years... scared of needle person here!

FACT 10:

What..?-song are you listening to now? bonnie bailey - firefly

-What time is it now?: 1:36 pm

-What is ur fav subject: osy na me e! hehe PE! lab classes in hrim..Ü

one ferrarific afternoon...

2006-01-06T20:42:00.000+08:00

omg! a dream come true! itz wuz this afternoon dat i rode (1st time in my life!) a Ferrari 360 Spider! damn! hotness.. coolness... itz wuz a once in a lifetime experience dat i will never, EVER, forget... since before i've been an afficionado with ferrari.. enzo to be exact.. but the mere fact dat its dat car, regardless of the model.. dang, ITZ STILL A FREAKING FERRARI!!!

waahh.. i juz cant get over it.. i wuz so amazed.. the air brushing through my face wen apa (my cuz's frend) cruised me around the village and hit more dan 100kph in juz a few second.. I LOVED IT! the intensity.. the thrill... the blood rushing through my veins.. it is like im reaching d top of my climax.. itz heavenly crazy... darn baby, who here in the philippines had all the priveledge to juz cruise around with that kind of car without you even expecting to do so? juz a small invite and chanting wuz d ticket to dat one hella of a good ride!

here are some pix that i took... not only the ferrari but the cool and awesome car beside it! a porsche g2t turbo... hehehe enjoy!Ü if only i could insert d videos i caught from this monster car... i should've.. so u guyz can listen to dat sound wen apa reved in2 d accelerator... damn itz hot!!!

itz been a VERY LONG TIME!Ü

2005-12-23T17:48:00.000+08:00

darn, juz realized its been almost 3 months since i last posted.. hehe well, sooooo many things happened since den.. FO' REAL! 1 of which is dat my pc's crashed.. i lost a frend but gained a lot.. hhmm.. still have no job.. waaahh!! (so to speak, im still too lazy..) wut else.. and something more dat i dont know if i should or could elaborate more.. tz been one of a hella rollercoaster ride for me.. problems kept on pourin' n pourin' n im left in dat shithole all along! i dunno... been asking people wut my mistake with dat 1 issue but dey say dat i wuz d victim... i dont have ny faults daw.. hhmm.. and so i say, maybe there wuz, a few.. but not all.. i can never say dat i snagged some1's somebody coz i didnt.. i wuz juz bein friendly n shit n i ended wit diz? waahh.. wut more should i get? well now, d tension is a bit lowered and we're juz living our separate lives.. care not to wut other people say.. n wuts to loose pa ba?

still havent found happiness.. genuine happiness dat is.. i know i can enjoy life.. have fun.. while chilling out wit some buds.. go partying and drinking all night... making a fool out of ourselves.. but den again, there are certain things dat still bothers me... a LOT! nyhow, paying no mind to dem, m juz trying to live it up wyl itz here.. go wit d flow as wut people say... i dowanna pressure myself more to d issues around coz if i do, mah mind's gonna break apart n ul nxt c me n a mental institution.. hehe kidding..

anyways, juz dropped by a few insights of wuts been happening so far..

juz check it out!Ü

can't get enough of surveys! haha

2005-09-27T16:45:00.000+08:00

1. ONE WISH?
> to be happy once again...

2. ARE YOU A LOVER OR A FIGHTER?
> uhm, i ges both...

3. WHAT'S YOUR WORST FEAR?
> loose my loved ones..

4. AS A KID, WERE YOU A LEGO MANIAC?
> uhm, not really.. m more n2 dolls... but i used to play lego as well...

5. WHAT DO YOU THINK OF "REALITY"?
> m not really sure bout diz... but i ges, LIFE!

6. DO YOU CHEW ON YOUR STRAWS?
> uhm, yezz.. hehehe

7. WERE YOU A CUTE BABY?
> hehehe uhm, i think so.... gotta lotz of pinches in my cheeks daw before..Ü

8. ARE YOU SINGLE?
> yezzz...

9. WHAT COLOR IS YOUR KEYBOARD?
> silver & black..stylish!

10. DO YOU SING IN THE SHOWER?
> hehehe sometimes, i feel like it.. n funny, i also dance! wahehe

11. HAVE YOU EVER BUNGEE JUMPED?
> nah, but dats 1 in my to-do-list in life... dat wud be so awesome!

12. ANY SECRET TALENTS?
> talents? uhm... oh diz 1 is hard! i led me 2 think, i dont hav ny talent at ol! huhu

13. WHAT'S YOUR IDEAL VACATION SPOT?
> hawaii.. or italy...

14. IS JAY LENO FUNNY?
> steady...

15. CAN YOU SWIM?
> yezz..

16. HAVE YOU SEEN THE MOVIE "DONNIEDARKO"?
> omg, is there such? sowee.. nvr heard..

17. DO YOU GIVE A DARN ABOUT THE OZONE?
> yezz.. but come 2think of it, im'ma smoker din.. hehe

18. HOW MANY LICKS DOES IT TAKE TO GETTO THE CENTER OF A TOOTSIE POP?
> not really sure.. but given d chance, ill count!Ü hehe

19. CAN YOU SING THE ALPHABET BACKWARDS?
> nah.. not unless i have to read it..

20. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN ON AN AIRPLANE?
> yezz...

21. ARE YOU AN ONLY CHILD?
> yezz.. n loving it!Ü

22. DO YOU PREFER ELECTRIC OR MANUALPENCIL SHARPENERS?
> electric.. more convenient & easy to use.. no hassel.. (halatang tamad!)

23. WHAT'S YOUR STAND ON HUNTING?
> anti..
24. IS MARRIAGE IN YOUR FUTURE?
> yezz.. of course.. hu doesnt? mybe in 2-3 years time..

25. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING?
> not dat much.. but some say it is okay..

26. WHAT ARE YOU ALLERGIC TO?
> home-cooked crabs! waahh..

27. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU SAID, "ILOVE U"?
> juz diz morning..

28. IS ELVIS STILL ALIVE?
> not dat m aware of..

29. DO YOU CRY AT WEDDINGS?
> yezz.. specially in the mushy parts of it... kakatuch e! i always imagine myself being ina long white gown and standing beside my 1 tru love n exchanging vows.. haay.. mushy pow! =(

30. HOW DO YOU LIKE YOUR EGGS?
> mmm.. sometimes i like it sunny side up.. but i love it wen it is made n2 an omelette..

31. ARE BLONDES DUMB?
> some.. (sorry, no offense!)

32. WHERE DOES THE OTHER SOCK END UP?
> huh?! i didnt get diz 1.... say whatt?!

33. WHAT TIME IS IT?
> 5:05 pm

34. DO YOU HAVE A NICKNAME?
> yezz.. porche or pow..

35. IS MCDONALD'S DISGUSTING?
> definitely NOT!

36. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU WERE INA CAR?
> juz diz morning on my way home..

37. DO YOU PREFER BATHS OR SHOWERS?
> long hot baths..

38. IS SANTA CLAUS REAL?
> i sure ope so! but i believe in the spirit of xmas..Ü

39. DO YOU LIKE TO HAVE YOUR NECKKISSED?
> hu doesnt!? hehehe

40. ARE YOU AFRAID OF THE DARK?
> yezz! not only dat.. mumus!

41. WHAT ARE YOU ADDICTED TO?
> does a person count? hehe well, i ges.. yoc..

42. CRUNCHY OR CREAMY PEANUT BUTTER?
> neither.. im not fond of peanut butter..

43. CAN YOU CRACK YOUR NECK?
> nah.. but i ope i can..

44. HAVE YOU EVER RIDDEN IN ANAMBULANCE?
> nah, n i dont have any plans..

45. HOW MANY TIMES HAVE YOU BRUSHEDYOUR TEETH TODAY?
> 2x at diz moment..

46. IS DRUG FREE THE WAY TO BE?
> sure.. u can put it dat way...Ü

47. ARE YOU A HEAVY SLEEPER?
> yezz.. most especially wen i have short sleeps for d past few days.. like 2day..Ü

48. WHAT COLOR ARE YOUR EYES?
> black.. but some say itz dark brown..

50. DO YOU LIKE YOUR LIFE?
> somehow yeah..

51. LIQUOR OR BEER?
> beer!

52. ARE YOU PSYCHIC?
> i ope ill be!Ü

hay.. bored again! = (

2005-09-22T15:30:00.000+08:00

1. whose picture is it that you keep in ur wallet?

** pichur of baby pachoky...

2. wat time do you go to bed?

** uhm, wen d sun is up...?! insomnia! waaah!

3. wat was the last thing you did before fillingthis survey?

** i just ate lunch...

4. who's the one you always meet the most?

** phi belle & kay belle Ü

5. who's the person you're gonna call if youneed help?

** both of dem as well...

6. what's on your mind just now?

** wut am i gonna do wit mah life...

7. kissed a complete stranger?

** um, yesh.. unfortunately...

8.with whom do you wanna be to have fun?

** my friends... n him... =(

9. what's the last movie you saw?

** wud diz be in a muvy haws or tv? muvy hawz: truth about love; tv: brady bunch! haha

10. when was the last time you went out?

** last night....

11. what do you hate the most for now?

** being unemployed.. n confused bout love..

12. when was the FIRST time you slept alone?

** dat i cant really remember... long, long time ago...

13. what things do you want to do now?

** get out of d haws! hehe shopping!!! n be wit him... =,(

14. what do you do everyday besides eat andsleep?

** hang out wit my friends n go drinking..!Ü

15. talked on the phone just to say goodnight?

** uhm.....

16. colors that make you happy

** blue & pink

17 most fave thing in your room?

** mah pc.. n bed!Ü

18 what was the last thing you bought for urroom?

** beauty products..

19. instruments that make you crazy?

** guitars & drums.. la me future dun e! but i still wanna learn how to play 1..Ü

20. any instruments in your room

** nah,.. i dont see any... nor remembering having 1 around.. hehe

21. instruments that u play?

** piano.. un lang! waah!

22. miss someone?

** yessh... so much....

23. are you a coffee addict?

** hot coffee? not anymore.. but i used to drink 3-4 cups a day! "cuppocino" baby! haha but frap.. still addicted to it... white mocha frap! yum!Ü

24. are you satisfied with your life now?

** uhm, not quiet.. i know der's a huge piece in d puzzle dat is missing..

25. would you share a glass of water with afriend?

** of course, i do...Ü

26.when was the last time you ate seafoods?

** yesterday dinner time! RED CRAB! PANALO! yum, yum!Ü

27. ever had a food fight?

** mmm, yeah i think so..

28. what do you usually eat for breakfast?

** fried or garlic rice sum breakfast ulam or nothing at ol.. (since i wake up lunch time na! :D)

29. Lost a friendship over something stupid?

** Hell YEAH! haha!

30. Been really depressed before?

** no only before.. moreover now.... =, (

31. what's your favorite fast food chain?

** MCDO!Ü

32. cried in front of your classmates?

** yeah, even in college... reco & retreat!

33. Can you remember what you did on thefirst day of your school in college?

** uhm, made friends i ges? hehe n found my group of friends.. coz of cigarettes!Ü (nagsama-sama ung mga nagyoyoc.. hihi)

34. who's on ur mind?

** mike... haayy.... *sigh, sigh*

35. did u ever cheat during exam?

** bwahaha who doesnt!?

36. is kissing normal for our age?

** uhm, duh?! hehe yeah it is..

37. are you childish?

** mmm, i can be childish if the time & situation calls for it.. hehe

38. first boyband that made you go gago?

** m not into pop music but sumtimes i still listen to sum.. m n2 hiphop n r&b kc..

39. how's your heart lately?

** not gud... still hurting... & very much confused.. lonely..

40. worst gift you have ever received?

** mmm... anu nga b? i dont recall e.. hehe

41. Reminds you of ur 1st love?

** how we ended up being together?! hehe

42. ever had a crush on a teacher?

** hihihihi (wink, wink) crush lng nmn eh..

43. things u need everyday?

** celfone! kikay kit & my baby.. (car!Ü)

44. favorite person na kulitin

** c mike.. waaah!!

45. two persons that come to ur mind now?

** pols & mike...

46. 3 college friends u want to see ryt now?

** mars, cris & abby!

47. highschool friends u like to see?

** barkadings! n "brc" peeps.. bsta lhat cla.. hehe

48. have you ever fallen asleep in class?

** oh yezz!!

49 have u ever fallen asleep after a drink?

** oh yezz!! worst wuz in malate.. way, way back before...

50. song that reminds you of your barkada?

** mmm... i dunno e.. khit anu..Ü

sana tagaytay nlng! hehe

2005-09-19T15:24:00.000+08:00

last weekend i went out wit some frends... felt like we went road trippin'.. hehe 1st we went to festi to do sum errands n eat dinner... den watched a ROCK show down of sum bands.. dang, naalog utak ko dun! well we der to support r frend SHABBY! rock on sistah!Ü galing mo dude....! lalo na ung Underneath it Ol..!Ü den, we dressed up nicely to go dancing.. i swear! good thing we're not wearing d same color (me & 2 gurl frendz) coz we ol wearin' pleated skirt! bwahaha! sexy mamas! wahahaha n lucky of us, we bagged up 3 guys to accompany us.. ac2aly, barkada din ni kay belle un eh... hehe den wen we got to Metro Walk, aarrgg.... panira trip! ders an exclusive party for ABS-CBN in Phi so we juz drank few bottles outside... dang! e ol of us wanted to go partying or clubbing but we cant go to jaipur nmn coz some of us hav a tyt budget... sayang! so we juz went around makati luking for some hiphop club to chill in but nadah! wwaahh.. n ges wer we ended up?! MAKATI REP! hehehe la lng,, juz drank der.. as in drink! haha red horse baby!Ü but infairness, we had fun din naman there... kwentuhan, asaran, n d highlight of d evening or shud i say early in d morning wuz me daring my frend not to speak in 30mins! darn, i shud've called for an hour! haha = P sayang.. nxt tym! hehe nyhow.. la lang, even though my life is kinda fucked up ryt now... i know i can still have.. one way or another.. tnx to my friend who are always der... know hu u r! lav yah guyz! till nxt time.. nxt gimik! mwahÜ

n one more thing dat made me rave yesterday.... WENDELL RAMOS waved at me!!!! babaw noh?! well he's like my ultimate crush for d longest time now... n hello?! he's such a cutie!! hehehe share ko lang!Ü

CHAKA BELLES! haha = P

2005-09-17T03:17:00.000+08:00

omg! tz my word for d night! i love it.. chaka belles (if diz is d ryt spelling..!) means : jologs in tagalog.. hehehe i really laughed so hard wen i heard dat word.. i said pa na it wuz my 1st time to encounter d word.. n i wuz so aliw! too bad pols wasnt der at dat time... t wuz me n a gurl frend left in Pertron wid 2 of r guy friends... "papi" n "han" !Ü lav yah guyz... = P i dunno but it suddenly came up.. wen my frend sed dat wen she talked to d guy dat she called using mah cel.. she suddenly said "ay, chaka belles sha!" hehehe n i sed, "what?! what wuz dat?!" hehehe it wuz soooooo funny....... promise! wit her contagious laugh n ol.. it made my night happy!Ü

at first, i wuz really dooooowwn & looowww..... coz of my ex... i said goodbye to him but y does it feel so wrong.... i know m like "desidido" wen i emailed him something but m still confused.. probably coz my heart.. still.... longs for him.. misses him... n loves him despite ol.... *sigh*..... den i got a few msgs from him dat really shattered my night... i became d lowest of d low.. my life is really a mess... so does my mind... confusion, confusion.. damn! i dunno wut 2 do... m fucking mixed up!...... arrgg......

good thing i got my friends der... still managed to make my nyt complete.. n made me laugh.. as in L-A-U-G-H! hehehe haay..... juz ope i can still hang on n stand up to myself for wut i told him... ope i can still go through life khti sobrng sabog sabog na sha.. ope il still have my friends who love me so much n care for me a lot.. i juz ope ill live for another day.. saying dat m completely & positively happy wid my life... chaka belles! hehehe i love it!Ü lav yah guys.. u know hu u r..... mwah mwah mwahÜ yo ' d best!!!!Ü till nxt tym.. or shud i say.. tom?! hehehe ciao!Ü

confession room..

2005-09-14T18:35:00.000+08:00

damn, itz almost 6 in the evening and i still havent gotten a good sleep! waaah... my eyes are so puffy n my eye bags are like soooo dark... =( well, i cant help it if i cant sleep at nyt.. n check it, we still had r training yesterday (kickboxing.. self-defense baby!).. we're like sooooo wasted.. hehehe n bruised badly.. some of us were injured.. waahh.. nyhu.. wen i wuz chillin n mah friend's place last nyt.. i juz watched 3 dvds for me to get sleepy.. unfortunately, i wuz left der alone (awake..) n crying.. huhu i watched tear-jerker movies kc.. hehe i started off wit my all time fave movie, While You Were Sleeping.. huhuhuhu =, ( i juz love how dat movie went.. simple yet nakakakilig... n a cute story.. odd & impossible but wut d heck?! nothing's impossible for love right!? hu knows, d person dat ul gonna end up with in matter of time would be a friend, an ex, or someone you've seen somewhere but never met..

mmm,... dat led me to think.. did i find love? i mean true love? coz i thot i did wen i had my long term relationship wid an ex.. i thought it would be an everlast or whatsoever.. but damn, didn't work out.. den another one came.. unexpectdly.. well ac2ally, he became a good friend of mine at first den suddenly it felt like magic! love juz poofed infront of us.. and the next thing we konw, we're crazy, madly in love with each other...... dat wuz before.. wen i thought and honestly believed dat he really does love me.. for who i am, for who i've become & for wut i can offer.. *sigh..* but like from wut i watched.. "life doesn't go the way it could have been when it is planned.. " come what may...

honestly speaking, im still at mourning... still missing him.. still hoping there would be a chance for love in us.... but i guess, i juz have to set him aside.. n put him at d back of my head n go on wid life.... i still do have these strong feelings for him but.... i dunno.. clueless of what i should do.. confused... n my mind is spinning everytime it came across this issue.. many of d people dat said dat diz for the better... n for my benefit.. somehow, i believe dey have a point.. i cant agree totally.. coz of my damn heart.. still cant get him of it.. moreover in my system.. to make it worst, i gave him my ultimatum but wut did he do? he still relayed msgs dat im not really expecting for nymore.. dang, it felt like the world wuz above me again carrying it.. trying to hold on.. it's really heavy n im having d hardest time to manage... *sigh....* sad but true....

den, as i wuz watching d 2nd film which was Monster-In-Law.. i stopped n wondered.. "hhmm... i can somehow relate to this huh!?!" hehehe den i laughed.. i wuz impressed & amazed with the love j.lo gave to his man.. n how she managed to step up to her rights and decisions and still married the man he trully loves.... despite of everything her in-law is doing.. no matter wut people say, she still said " i do.." woah... i cried agen.. waah.. (ang iyakin ko guys noh!?) hehe nyhow, i wuz juz imagining how it would have been if it wuz me & him.... =, (

as the night progresses and the sun is almost rising, i wuz able to watch another flick.. well, not really of a tear jerker but something to look forward to.. m not sure though if it's already out here or wut.. itz Ice Princess btw... the movie wuz okay.. "pwede na.." hehe & it ended by 530am i think... den in about 10 mins we have to leave because pols' sis have to be brought to school for her practice.. so there, without sleep we went der drove arond d metro with CHINKY eyes! hehehe got back in an hour or so.. den went to sleep... pheww... =)

after which, by 1130am or i accompanied her to pasig.. but we made a short stop in robinsons pioneer to eat.. den headed to makati to fix something.. n lastly to pasay for my police report.. hehehe talk bout getting fully-booked this dat huh?! hehe = ) but itz ol gud.. nything for a friend.. n like last nyt, we can say itz a JOY RIDE or ROAD TRIPpin'! hehe

oh, before i forget.. guys, if you havent watched Wicker Park try it.. mmm, if ur not a person hu's into twisted movies.. "ung tipong iba't ibang time, day or year ung trina-try nilang i-relay sa movie.." probably u wudnt like it.. but if you like serious yet love story type of a movie, this will pass.. ok nga sha eh.. u wud really think n ur brain cells will really work!Ü mine did.. hehehe i watched the whole film a few days ago.. yes, u have guessed it right! around 2 or 3 in d morning again!Ü hehehe the movie is simply saying that where ever you go, whatever you'll do even if you tried to get into another relationship or wut.. if you are really destined to be with each other, itz only a matter of time.. n ull be back in each other's arms once again.... no words to spoken.. just a hug.. n a kiss.... will say it ol... aaaww...... =,( (tear, tear...)

woah, im starting to be like my friend pols.. movie marathon galore! hehehe i guess itz ok since im not really doing nything ryt now..Ü tonight, will be another nyt.. of drinking, ranting... hehe! (the "confession room"..) n dvd galore.. hehehe cyah guzy tonight.. ciao!Ü

another night in 401...

2005-09-13T00:24:00.000+08:00

i got to spend time with my TRUE friends tonight.. the ones i can say that who never really left me... eventhough we've been through hell n lotza things.. then i came to realize that there are far more problems there, worst than mine.. there are a lot more to hear out and understand n sympathize on... we have diz friend who is also having a dillema with love ryt now.. maybe somehow we have the same situation n ol.. ac2ally, diz issue with her has been going on for quite sometime now n it saddens me to see her sad and crying her heart out to us.. as i wuz sipping on my mug of beer (weird noh?) n looking at d view outside the window, i felt sad.. but not alone anymore.. probably because i miss him.. i miss everything bout him.. but i juz made a huge decision just this recently... nd gusto ko syang panindigan.. promise! coz things aren't really working out between the 2 of us and ill juz cry & be sad moreover when we have such arguements every now & then.. honestly, im still inlove with him.. & my friends know dat.. im making it a point dat dey'll know almost everything that has been happening to me.. i dunno... me still confused.. n i am not happy as of diz moment.. my heart longs for him but my mind says "it's too much.." *sigh...*

i once told my friend, "i envy you to wut you have become now.." "you are definitely stronger.. n i can say dat.. u r happy.." i know soon ill get over diz pain and sorrow dat i'm having & once again ill be happy aswell... i can tell d world dat pow is happy.. alive & kicking! hehehe = ) kidding aside.. wut makes me stronger, are my friends who has been there.. "through thick & thin..." i owe u guyz my life.. n i thank you for everything you have done and shown me... ill never make it diz far if it weren't for dem.. n i love dem more now..

another friend showed up maybe an hour before we called diz a nyt.. n yes, i really missed diz person so much.. we havent really talked n chilled for quite sometime now coz r schedules doesnt seem to match up with each other.. but probably even for an hour we talked.. n we realized dat we still have each other despite of r indifferences, tight schedules & personalities.. & im happy to know dat we've kept each oder dat long for this friendship to last.. nyhow, itz a good thing also for another friend dat we were hangin' around with for she was able to meet my infamous "boo boo"!Ü n in matter of minutes, they clicked!Ü t wuz fun and super laftrip!Ü

haaay.... i juz ope ill be better sooner dan i expect.. i ope ill find true happiness.. coz before i used to think he was mine.. but maybe diz time, i wuz worng.. i ope soon he'll get to realize and understand everything & knew what it is dat he really wants.. n found the true meaning of loving a person.. n lastly, i wish him to be okay eventhough we're not in good terms nor talking nymore with each other.. n good health & happiness aswell..

isa pa! haha

2005-09-11T18:25:00.000+08:00

Message:
1. Last place uv been to:
_ qc...

2. you are:
_ confused.. n sad..

3. They say you are:
_ martyr...

4. Yesterday:
_ i wuz wid d person i thot hus gonna make me happy again..

5. Last person who texted you?
_ popols..

6. Last person you called?
_ my maid... to open d gate for me.. hihi

7. Last name in your received calls?
_ popols..

8. How old are you?
_ 22.. tumatanda na.. hehe

9. What song is playing?
_ the one you love by glen frey.. haha!

10. Last thing you drank?
_ c2..

11. Last thing you bought for yourself:
_ earings... i love it!Ü n if last nyt counts, beer! hehe

12. You want to:
_ be happy again..

13. you really like:
_ to go out & have fun.. n find somebody who really understands & loves me for who i am!

14. you have a crush on:
_ none at this moment.. love meron.. haay..

15. you really hate:
_ liars, bitches & assholes!

HAVE YOU EVER:
1. gotten wasted?
_ oooohh yezzz..... haha

2. ran away?
_ mmm, not really ran away.. i juz didnt go home the time i said i would...

3. broken someone's heart?
_ yes..

4. had ur heart broken?
_ omg, yes yes yes! lotza times olready.. wawa me.. =, (

5. cried when someone died?
_ of course..

6. broken a bone?
_ mmm, dislocated bone counts? & sprain.. um,maybe not..

7. cried in school?
_ oh yes..

WHAT/WHO:
1. your good luck charm?
_ mmm.... this question is kinda irritating for me! haha wink wink..
those who know bout it!

2. person u hate most?
_ ha! u know hu u r! hehehehe = P

3. makes u laugh d most?
_ now, pols.. n before, mike...

4. makes u smile?
_ none at this moment..

5. has a crush on u?
_ i dunno bout diz..

DO YOU:
1. sit by the phone waiting for a call all night?
_ no, m not dat insane.. hmm.. but i did before..

2. chat online?
_ yaf!

3. save emails?
_ oh yaf!

4. wish u were someone else?
_ uhm, well there are times i wished for dat..

5. cry in front of friends:
_ haha! omg! should i still answer diz? hihihi

SO:
1.do you get jealous easily?
_ oohhhh yyeeezzz!!!

2. what have u been doing these pastfewdays?
_ trying to be happy.. juz spending time with my friends.. bumming around.. looking for answers to my questions....

3. what are you thinking about now?
_ .... actually i dont know.. wut i shud do with my life & love i ges... n y is he tormenting me?!

4.what did you do last night?
_ went out with him.. supposedly for a gimik.. talked.. & got into an arguement.. damn diz life! waaahhh!

5.what did you last say to a friend lastnight?
_ "tnx. n u shud if u still want to keep me..."

6. when will you marry?
_ i dunno.. wen my life is fixed n i found d ryt person for me.. n so i thought.. i have.. =, (

7.When did u last receive a gift?
_ gift? bday ko i ges.. mtagal tagal narin un.. hehe (konting parinig nmn dyan.. hehehe = P)

8.when did you last drink alcoholic beverages?
_ hehehe last nyt baby!

9. what was your greatest bet ever made?
_bet? m not really sure bout diz..

10. is all fair in love?
_ i dont believe in love n fairness now.. coz nothin' seems to be fair around me nymore..

11. most romantic words?
_ "yeah and how i wish i can touch ur face and kiss your hand and tell u d sweetest words you'll ever hear from a guy... i love you so much.."
-_"ill keep u der until ders no more breath coming out of my lungs, no more blood running through my veins. ill love you till ders no tommorow for me.."
_ "me, ive falen for u from den. but it changed as tym pases by. it grew much stronger and way beyond deep. i wanna keep u wer nobody can harm u. inside my heart.."
_ " to tell you d truth, i wuz happy with my life before i met u.. but wen u came along my life has been complete and i wuz never been happier. its u dat make life wonderful.."

--->> haaaayyyyy...... =, (

12. would you give up your career forlove?
_ mmm.. i did.. how stupid of me..

alang magawa c pow... hehehe

2005-09-11T17:34:00.001+08:00

Ano sasabihin mo kung sinabi sayo to?!

a. hi
>> ey.. sup wit yah?!Ü

b. ganda/guwapo mo ngayon.
>> anu b talaga kailangan mo? hehehe wag lng pera ah.. = P

c. pde enge ng number mo?
>> um, for wut?

d. I love my gf/bf, pero mas mahal kita.
>> well, dats weird.. y wud u even be wid dat person if i wuz d one u love..?!

e. what is the capital of Zimbabwe?
>> harare! tama b spelling? pero yan ang lam ko ng capital nun.. = )

f. mahal mo pa ba sya?
>> yes, how unfortunate of me...

g. wag mo ko iwan please
>> ??? y???

h. pde tantanan mo na ko?!
>> oh chur thang y not.. u didnt even matter to me nymore..

i. hindi kita makakalimutan
>> promise? sure k n ba talga dyan? haha

j. my parent wants to meet you
>> ayoto.. tatot ato... shy type me eh.. haha!

k. ayusin mo nga hair mo
>> u asking me dat b? nah, no need.. hehehe joke..

l. I have a huge problem
>> ok, u can tell me.. m here to listen..Ü

m. I love you more than I love you could say
>> .... sana nga ur true to what ur telling me..

n. im sick of having you
>> likewise! ggrr....

o. maghihintay ako sayo kahit forever
>> u sure bout dat?

p. kaya mo bang iwan sya para sakin?
>> ....... *sigh, sigh*

q. sorry mas mahal ko sya, but I dont want to lose you as my friend
>> i know the feeling.... (can relate ang lola nyo ngayon!)

r. sawa na ko sayo
>> hay, ako rin.. mas lalo!

s. will you marry me?
>> ...... (speechless...)

t. mahal ko parin sya
>> ..... *sigh, sigh* ako nga rin eh..

u. bf/gf mo: kami na ng kapatid mo
>> u sure bout dat? only child ako eh.. haha!

v. ang pangit mo
>> d hamak na mas pangit ka! hehe

w. crush mo ba ko
>> omg, r u for real? ndi k nmn mayabang nyan sa lagay na yan ah!?

x. thank you pero di kita kailangan
>> tnx din.. same here..

y. leave me alone
>> n u shud aswell! i dont want to be nything to you nymore...!

z. r u ?
>> happy? - NO, i thot i am...

something to release my stress now...

2005-09-11T14:42:00.000+08:00

1) Latest stuffs that you bought--> earings!Ü mah fettish right now...Ü
3) Last Time You Cried ? --> juz diz morning.. waahhh.... =, (
4) What's In your CD Player ? --> mmm, i dont think there's any.. dont use dat nymore.. i play my mp3s instead wen im juz at home..
5) What's Under Your Bed? --> um, my slippers i think.. hehe
6) What Time Did You Wake Up Today? --> 1:15pm
7) Current hairstyle: --> long layered hair with side bangs..
8) Current Clothes? --> shorts and top
9) Current Desktop Picture? --> tiled ANGEL word with a touch of color pink n silver
10) Current Worry? --> .... need not to mention... tz complicated...
11) Current Hate? --> being inlove....
12) Favorite Place To Be: --> um, i dunno.. bsta wer i can hang out with sum1 or wid my friends..
13) Least Favorite Place ? --> now, probably my room.... nasesenti lng me d2 eh..
14) Could You Play An Instrument ? --> yes, piano... but i cant play dat much nymore..
15) Favorite Color/s? -- blue.Ü
16) How Tall Are You? -- 5 feet and 3.5 inches.
17) Current Favorite Word/s? --"chuvah!"
18) One Person From Your Past You Wish Could Go Back And Talk To: --> woah! um,.....
19) Favorite Day/s? --> weekends..
20) Where Would You Like To Go? --> italy n hawaii
21) Where Do you want to live when you get married? --> makati area or pasig..
22) Favorite food? --> carbonara! or japanese food.. excluding sushi dat is..
23) Color of most clothes you own: --> blue.. n stripes.. n white..
24) Number of pillows you sleep with? --> 3 but id like to add more..
25) What do you wear when you go to sleep? --> shorts and shirt or nothing at ol! kidding.. heheÜ
26) What were you doing 12AM last night: --> um, drinking i think.. or having an arguement wid sumbody...
27) What do you think you'll be doing in 10years? --> ope ill be happily married to the one i love n taking care of my kids.. n being a resident manager of a well-known hotel in the states.. (taas ng pangarap e noh.. hehe)
28) Do you have braces? --> nah, not anymore...
29) Are you paranoid?! --> yeah, sobra... hihi
30) What are the countries you've been to? --> us, london, france, hongkong, china, singapore..
31.)Great places you've been to? --> europe!
32) What is/are your perfume? --> l'eauparkenzo.. in short, kenzo Ü
33) cologne? --> bath & body works green clover & aloe
34)Your alarm clock? --> cellfone..
35) First screen name? and why? --> porsh.. hehe funny spelling noh? so i changed it to porcheÜ or to others, pow.. may history un eh... tnx to my gud friend edge!Ü
36)First piercing/tattoo? -- ears, sa may taas na part.. chakit nga nun eh.. = (
37) First enemy? --> um, dat i cant remember.. hehehe
38) Last library book checked out? --> damn, i cant remember na.. tagal na me osy.. hehe
39) Last person you yelled at? --> mike..
40) Last crush? --> um, celebrity b e2? crush... ndi na cguro uso un.. matanda na tyo eh.. hehe
41) Last CD/song played? --> charlie, last name wilson..
42) Last thing you ate? --> sizzling sisig..
43) Last annoyance? --> having a confrontation with some1.. aargg....
44) last ice cream you ate? --> hhmm.. dat reminds me, i havnt eaten ice cream for months now! haha
45.) Last person you talked to? --> mike..
46.) Last message? --> also from him... nah, id rather keep it to myself..

ope u'll like it gurl...Ü

2005-09-10T18:28:00.000+08:00

ORDINARY PEOPLE.. by John Legend

Girl, I'm in love with you This ain't the honeymoon, past the infatuation phase Right in the thick of love At times we get sick of love It seems like we argue everyday I know I misbehaved And you made your mistake And we both still got room left to grow And though love sometimes hurts I still put you first And we'll make this thing work But I think we should take it slow

We're just ordinary people We don't know which way to go 'Cause we're ordinary people Maybe we should take it slow Take it slow This time we'll take it slow Take it slow This time we'll take it slow

This ain't a movie, no No fairytale conclusion, y'all It gets more confusing everyday Sometimes it's heaven sent Then we head back to hell again We kiss then we make up on the way I hang up, you call We rise and we fall And we feel like just walking away As our love advances, we take second chances Though it's not a fantasy I still want you to stay

We're just ordinary people We don't know which way to go 'Cause we're ordinary people Maybe we should take it slow Take it slow This time we'll take it slow Take it slow

This time we'll take it slow Maybe we'll live and learn Maybe we'll crash and burn Maybe you'll stay, maybe you'll leave, maybe you'll return Maybe another fight, maybe we won't survive Maybe we'll grow we never know Baby, you and I We're just ordinary people We don't know which way to go, yeah 'Cause we're ordinary people Maybe we should take it slow

We're just ordinary people We don't know which way to go 'Cause we're ordinary people Maybe we should take it slow Take it slow This time we'll take it slow Take it slow This time we'll take it slow Take it slow, slow This time we'll take it slow Take it slow This time we'll take it slow

- pols, dz fo' yah sweetie.... hehe = ) alabchu... -

- and diz one is fo' me... -

GOING CRAZY... by Natalie

ever since the day you went away and left me lonely and cold my life just hasnt been the same ohh baby, nooo when I looked into your eyes the moment that I let you go I just broke down(down)

baby if I ever get the chance to be with you again I would sacrifice cuz the feeling that I feel within no other men could ever make me feel so right its nice to smile when I get your phone call at night but I’d rather have you here with me, right next to meI miss the way you hold me tight

(Bridge)

I gotta let you know I feel so weak without your touch I never thought that I could ever love a man so much I gotta let you know I think that we are destiny for you I’d cross the world, for you I’d do anything

(Chorus 2xs)

thats right baby I’m going crazy I need to be your lady I’ve been thinking lately that you and me, yes we can make it just ride with me, roll with me I’m in love with you baby

break it down now.. I’ll tell you what I feel from the moment I met you its been so damn real my heart seems to skip another beat every time we speak can you believe I feel so weak tell me that you really need me and you want me and you miss me and you love me I’m your lady I’ll be around waiting for you I’ll put it down be the one for you

I’m falling so deep for you crazy love for you I`m calling, calling out to you what am I going to do? Wish you would stop fronting its so in the weather i can no longer go on without I just break down (down)

(Bridge)

I gotta let you know I feel so weak without your touchI never thought that I could ever love a man so much I gotta let you know I think that we are destiny for you I’d cross the world, for you I’d do anything

(Chorus 2xs)

thats right baby I’m going crazy I need to be your ladyI’ve been thinking lately that you and me, yes we can make itjust ride with me, roll with me I’m in love with you baby....
========================================================================
dang, how can they make such beatiful songs... with a good meaning and with sense.. sometimes i wonder any song in particular could be the song for me coz they make people realize and think hard on what the content of the song brings about.. i chose this song simply because this is wut i feel right now.. im GOING CRAZY from everything that has been happening.. *sigh...* what love can do to people.... especially to me... =, ( huhu

ORDINARY PEOPLE.. well the song says it all.... i am amazed on how the song was written.. perfect lines to describe us, human beings... the life we encounter each and everyday and it really struck me.... talks about love and life.. and for the fact dat a dear friend of mine is sooo addicted to this song.. so, i posted this for her delight and enjoyment..ÜÜÜ

those were the days...

2005-09-10T17:16:00.000+08:00

i cant help to think and wonder why is it that i still love this person so much... i know i have said that there's no chance for us to be together again but my heart weeps everytime i think of him... when he was gone i can say that i had fun.. i get to do things, stuff.. but.. honestly, i really miss being with him.. the good times that we had.. the laughs and tears that we've shared.. i know even for a few months that we were together, i can say that so many things happened and i treasure each and every one of it... one thing's fo'sure that anywhere i go, everything i do or just a simple music that i hear reminds me of him.. there are really a lot to remember and sometimes it saddens me for i know he can't just be there beside me at those times that i am lonely & sad.. recently, we started to talk again and i can say that im happy with that.. though there were times that probably i regret on having a connection with him.. it's really complicated... waahh.... there were times that he would just get mad at me... n it sux.. but eventually he would make it up after a while... darn, m having a huge dillema here... i love him but is it still right? am i being fair to myself and to everyone else? he told me something before and it goes a little something like this... "who are in this? me & u or u & other people?" of course i said, me & u.... so he replied, "so why would we care about what people would say around us if we are in this together!?" i was left speechless there... i didnt know what to say.. my mind went blank.... somehow he has a point... but if i look at it closely.. thinking of the practical side, maybe it doesnt apply to all.. up to know i still dont know what to answer.. because my mind and heart are battling with one another... o gosh, my heart.. so naive.. so fragile.. can easily fall to anything it lands on... and the worst part of it is that my whole being is affected by it.. i love too much.. n that goes to nyting in this world..

yes, i have my friends there to support me, cheer me up and care for me but it's different with him.. really big difference.. i know if everyone would know about this, they'll get mad at me.. or even make me "tabla".. but this is what i have to do so that people would understand and know what has been happening.. im also aware of the consequences, very much.. so now, m really mixed up... i really do love this person but im afraid... afraid of crying my heart out again, afraid of getting hurt.. afraid of loosing another special person in my life... im afriad.. so afraid.. if i set my hart on loving him wholeheartedly again i know there would be more complications and problems.. but know wut, i think... or maybe i can give another shot at it.. not now but soon... *sigh, sigh......*

waaaahh........... =, (

2005-09-06T23:10:00.000+08:00

waaaahhh..... wuts happening to d world? just yesterday my car was crashed by a freaking 18 wheeler truck.. luckily, i have mah frends, my 2 besh buds to back me up while im n d verge of breaking down.. i thought my life was to end last nyt.. though the damages weren't really dat big but at that very moment when it happened, dang.... it was horrible! i was screaming and super panic and the rage in me bursted when i saw the hella driver of the truck.. i wuz yelling, i was furious and really pissed.. how i wish some of the people that means a lot to me were also there to help out.. oh, i would like to thank another friend.. cito! for accompanying us der... khit mejo hassel.. lavyah dude, i wont fo'get dat! owe u big tym... nyhow, to make the situation worst the bat of mah car was discharged! damn, wut a nyt huh!? n i wuz towed to d police station for the report of the incident. thnk God pols n tito vic wuz der.. really big help and i love dem both fo' dat.. n of course to my bro, doy.. i love u talaga! u rock!Ü den going home 'round 3 in d morning for i drank a few bottles coz i wuz really stressed out for wut happened.. i need to release it before the night ends.. we juz chilled sumwer n toked bout few things.. den, some shitty thing has to happen agen wen i got home.. omg.. lucky day huh!? haha! i got into a fight wit sum1.. n it sucks.. n i feel bad about it..! didnt really get a good sleep.. n i have to turn my celfone off so dat i wont get nymore of his messages fo' d nyt.. den d next day, it became worst.. waaahh..... 2 straight days man! i hate it! arrggg.... pow really pissed.... cant really expound on wut happened today.. really complicated.. n bothering.. haaayy.... *sigh* i juz hope tom will be a better day fo' me...

juz wanna thank those people who stayed there for me and actually showed up when i wuz in deep shit.. tnx guyz... i wont forget it.. n alabshoo.... n tnx narin for those u were concerned.. means a lot aswell.. u guyz know hu u r na.. no need to name drop nybody.. mwahÜ

sorbet?! hehehe lang mgawa..

2005-08-30T11:28:00.000+08:00

[What is your favorite ]
1. gum: cool air (csb days.. hehe)
2. drink: alcoholic or non-alcoholic? hehehe sprite lage... n c2..
3. season: summer... shempre beach! kso pwede nmn kht umuulan eh.. ginawa ko! hehe =P
4. emotion: being inlove... n happiness...
5. things to do all day: um, cant think of any.. bum me ryt now! chill wit friends i ges..n b wid d peson u love d most.. Ü kulang p nga un eh...
6. late-night activity: mmm, lemme think.. hehehe fone i ges.. or drink! hihi

[ When was the last time you ]
8. cried: last night...
9. laughed: um just now.. dhil d2 sa survey.. hihi = P
10. hugged someone: um, last nyt din..
11. kissed someone: does beso count? mm, f yeah yestrday.. but kiss.. um, sunday nyt..
12. felt depressed: last wk.. well pati narin last nyt.. me, confused!
13. felt overworked: ict days.. 2 wks mandatory ot of 2 hrs!
14. lied: yesterday.. so sorry.. = (

[ What was/were the last ]
15. words you said: now? " i dunno eh.. anu b trip mo?"
16. thing you ate: nah, ala pa.. lastnyt, fried shrimp siomia n beef bowl sa gourmets in bf..
17. song you listened to: janet jackson - anytime anyplace.. senti mode c pow ngayon eh..
18. place you went to: kgbi? um, bf pque...
19. movie you saw: hanibal..
20. movie you rented: woah, cant remember na! hehe

[ Who was the last person you ]
22. hugged: secwet! hehe
23. cried over: hay nako, should i even answer dis? hehe kilala nyo na sha!
24. kissed: secretong malufet.. walang clue! hehehe
26. shared a secret with: mm.. kay pols ata..
27. had a sleepover with: hehehe funny ah.. = ) bsta.. hehe
28. called: maid nmin to open d gate last nyt..
29. went to a movie with: omg, um.. c pols ata din.. or.. ah ewan! hehe
30. saw: maids d2 sa haws..
31. were angry with: woah! mtagal tgal narin ah.. hehehe.. bsta sum lame ass dude..
32. couldn't take your eyes off: my celfone..! n d stars..
33. obsessed over: stars! n blue.. &.. sum1...

[ Have you ever ]
34. danced in the rain: yeah...
36. done drugs: mmm..
37. drank alcohol: yep! definitely..
38. partied 'til the sun came up: yesh of course...
39. gone too far on a dare: mmm, lemme think... hihi
40. taken a survey quite like this before: yes, i think so..

[ My life ]
41. name: porche
42. birthday: 07/18/83
43. relationship status: it's complicated.. taray! hehe

[ Play ]4
6. i'm feeling: hmm, i duno.. comfused talga eh noh.. but happyÜ
47. i'm listening to: talib kweli - never been inlove.. uy, may natamaan! hehe
48. i'm doing: this survey..
49. i'm craving: fo' sum1..
50. i'm thinking of: dat sum1..

[ Love ]
52. love is: unpredictable.. n unconditional..
53. inlove: ÜÜÜ
54. My current love: .......
55. best love song: diz 1 is hard.. depende sa c2ation cguro.. but as of now.. reunited? hehe cguro..
56. is it possible to be in love w/ more than one person at the same time: nah, i dont think so.. ders only one person meant to be wit ich & everyone of us..
58. is there such thing as love @ first sight?: nah.. hu ever came up wit dat?

[ Attraction ]
60. turn ons: height!, eyes... sense of humor..
61. turn offs: liars.. & sbbrng yabang..
62. do your parent's opinion on your gf/bfmatter to you?: yah, dey do.. but it is still my decision to make on whatever concerning me & my loved 1...
63. what is the sweetest thing a guy/girl can do for you?: hug me tightly in public like there's no one around us.. kiss me on d cheek and tell d whole world how much he loves me..Ü n of course, being true to his word..
64. where do you go to meet new people?: i dont do dat nymore.. well, through friends lang..
65. are you the type of person to HOLLA and ask for numbers?: nah..

[picky picky]
66. dog or cat: dog.. um, pwde both?
67. sunshine or rain: both dn..
68. hugs or kisses: shempre both..
69. summer or winter: summer.. but i like it wen it rains,.. para cool dba..
70. playstation or nintendo: ps
71. car or motorcycle: car.. not really fond of motorcycles.. trauma eh.. hehe
72. house party or club: depends on d trip.. but id go with house party.. 2matanda na tyo eh..Ü
73. sing or dance: neither.. m bad at both.. heheh

[ Lately ]
74. how are you today?: steady.. confused.. but happy..
75. what pants are you wearing right now?: pants? m wearing shorts eh...
76. what shirt are you wearing right now?: PE tshirt ng csb..
77. what song are you listening to rightnow?: anytime, anyplace by janet jackson.. nakakaaddict 2ng song.. waah.. senti pow..
78. how is the weather right now?: not dat cold but not too hot..
79. who was last person u talked to? : my ex..

waaah.. confused pow.. = (

2005-08-29T02:00:00.000+08:00

grabe, can i just say that itz like 1 hella week for me.. so many things happened.. as in the things that i wuz never really expecting to happen.. i know i'm trying to live it up.. n i ges i have.. but some things are making me confused and sad... i dont know y this is happening to me right now or wut but i know i can cope up with it.. sana! i know God gave me all of these coz He knows i can manage and take care of it well.. dang, i just hope i am still doing the right choices in life..

livin' it up! Ü

2005-08-24T02:40:00.000+08:00

itz a fine day for me... i get to see my friends.. got to spend time with them.. and i got to talk to someone i just met recently... tz been a few days and he is really nice and caring n i'm liking it.Ü he's very thoughtful and he always makes me laugh.. on some point or another i wonder, is this guy for real or is he someone i shouldnt hang around with.. i dowanna mislead myself on thinking that his kindness and him being friendly to something else but.. pphheeww.. m getting mixed up here.. i dowana expct nything from him nor conclude on something as of this moment.. but damn,... =( me confused... huhuhu

im kinda mixed up.. i know the things that ive been doing is making me happy and eventually recovering from a terrible heartache.. but dude, itz another person right now.. and knowing myself.. darn.. m worse at this..

well, im livin' it up.. trying to be happy.. maybe, i am.. and i'm picking up the pieces in me that were shattered.. i can say that im partly moving on and starting a new life.. i just hope what's happening right now turns out to be well.. or maybe great!Ü and it is really for everlasting.. most especially with the friends and loved ones that i get to spend time with..Ü

abugi's back!

2005-08-23T19:42:00.000+08:00

our dear friend abby got home 2 nights ago from dubai.. but unfortunately, its only for a visit hir in phils.. she will be leaving din tonight 11:55pm ata ung flight nila. ayun, i wuz really shocked wen marielli told me yesterday dat she's really here so we decided to visit her at home.. so it wuz me, mar and ced.. i fetch them den we headed to abs' place. man, we really missed dat gurl.. dame chika shempre.. and we made her kwento how is it been sa dubai and having flights.. well, looks like our girl is really having fun der but der always a point that she is home sick she said.. from all the stories she shared with us, working in dubai seems to be so instresting.. so mar and i decided to apply somewhere for dat. anyhow, 2 friends of ours came pa.. miguel and tina... the gurl who i can say the funniest, loudest and controversial laugh! i love it!Ü lavyah tins! ayun, we just hang out der for a few hours and decided to call it a night by around 2:30 am.. oh well, it wuz worth.. atleast we got to c our gurl-friend abugigerz!! Ü la lang, share ko lang...Ü

me n my beshbud...

2005-08-22T17:44:00.000+08:00

yesterday, i got up late narin for i went home 5am from fort. den, i met up with my beshbud, my bro in makati. we went to market market for the show.. MTV next best thing.. n for my friend hu happens to be there for the "transhow".. dey displayed the land cruiser and the big byke.. good for her coz she met a few guyz der.. well, after going there den to powerplant den back my bro n i juz went around to shop coz ITZ SALE!!! saya! hehe la nmn.. i juz missed him.. for i only get to spend time with him on sundays coz he works 6x a week.. damn... we got talk about things.. chika chika ever... bout life.. our separate lives.. love life.. career.. etc.. im proud of him dat he is doing great in his work now and he is somehow happy.. cross fingers bro, ope we get to meet the right person for us na! hehehe nah, we're not really rushing for it.. we both know dat there is someone destined for us.. hu knows, probably he or she happens to be our friend already...Ü oooh, before i forget.. we also met up with my boo boo brycie.. we werent able to really hang out for he has a date at that time.. boo boo, selos na talaga me nyan ah! hehehe ayun, la lng.. m juz happy for i saw my 3 good friends and somehow we got to spend time with each other.. hayy... alabshoo guys.. we keep'n it real.. keep it lockd! mwahÜ

ala lang.. hehe

2005-08-22T01:24:00.000+08:00

la lng, juz thot of answering few questions.. nakakaaliw lng.. well, itz somehow a summary of my overview with love... and pain...

man, nahirapan me sa ibang questions ah... promise no joke! talagang napaicp me ng matagal.. hehehe = ) but i think its worth it.. Ü

1.are u serious when it comes to relationships?
-- > yes, i am.. lalo na ung mga recent.

2. are you afraid of commitments?
-- > no, never..

3.are you a risk taker?
-- > yes, i think so..

4. wat can u say abt long distance relationships?
-- > mmm, not good.. coz u tend to miss d person badly and temptations start to sprout everywhere.we're only human and we commit mistakes..

5. can u luv a person hu doesnt love u?
-- > yes... i think i have.. hehehe

6. do actions speak louder than words?
-- > mmm, i think it does because simple phrases such as "i miss u" or "i love you" wont mean a thing if you wont be able to actually let person feel and see that you really do.

7. hav u felt/found true love?
-- > i thought i did, once.. twice.. but nah.. maybe not.. but i hope i will!Ü

8. how can u say that a person luvs you?
-- > ... dang, this 1 got me... i dunno.. till now.. but i can say that a person loves me if i feel the love he is giving me. the concern, the time and the efforts that he is doing, showing and letting me feel that i am important in his life.

9. are you good in handling relationships?
-- > im really not sure about this coz itz both yes and no. there were times that i think i handled the relationship well but my efforts seem not to be even close to being a good gf to the guy. but there were also times that i was really stubborn and lazy but it worked.. kahit papano.. hehe

10. are you willing to give everything?
-- > yes. i have.

11. best thing uve learned from loving?
-- > letting go is the harderst thing you can ever do in your life. but doing such will make you a better and stronger person than before..

12. do u demand ur luvd1 to change into something that he/ she's not?
-- > no, but on some occassions probably i can say i have. but i know i just did that for his own good and welfare.

13. wud u let go of some1 u love?
-- > yes. that's how much i love a person. to let go of him and set him free for his own happiness..

14. are u a one woman/man & vice versa type of person?
-- > yes, because i believe that there's only one person meant to be with us. just one.

15. Is sex important in a relationship?
-- > well, tz not really essential but it is only done to spice up the relationship. but it should never be the reason for them to stay together. that wouldn't be love anymore.. that'll be lust...

16. how do u express ur luv to sm1?
-- > i really dont know... just the way i look him, we talk and understand each other through our eyes.. that is if the feeling is mutual... im more on the expressive type of a person so for me, the more i see, the more i believe..

17. wat is the major reason of a break up?
-- > another party and lost of trust... (mmm, slightly affected me dyan ah! hehe)

18. most important ingredient in a relationship?
-- > trust and time..

19. have you ever regretted loving sum1?
-- > mmm, i have. but after awhile, i take it back. coz in the process of self-realization i get to figure out everything and understand what happened and look closely to each others' mistakes.. anyhow, it made me stronger and taught me a lot of things.. and eventually finding myself to who i can be and to what wut extend id go for love..

20. one thing u hate about love?
-- > P-A-I-N... i-spell out b? hehehe and letting go.. ang hirap man! huhu = , (

21. one thing u like about love?
-- > knowing each and everyday there is someone, your other half.. whether you're together or not, loves u as much or even more than myself...

22. worst thing u did to a love one?
-- > worst? hmm... honestly speaking, i cheated.. but i really regret doing dat.. i wish i can just turn back time..

27. do you get tired of loving?
-- > no, never... n i dont even why.. hehehe martyr me eh! haha

28. who has changed your view about loving?
-- > ...... i refuse to answer this question .......

why am i sad?

2005-08-19T17:28:00.000+08:00

i've been asking myself this since the day he hurt me.. i know our situation ryt now is much, much better but y is it that i feel incomplete? mmm, probably i got so attached to this person too much that i am having the hardest time to let go.. i know i can be over, but in a matter time.. long time dat is. so now, m juz keeping myself busy juz to forget him.. dont get me wrong, m happy that i am able to do things that i was deprived of doing wen we're together like hanging with my friends, getting to meet new people, partying and drinking a lot!Ü hehe

i wuz with a long lost friend yesterday. we met up for some coffee in starbux.. i opened up bout wut has been happening to me since i last saw him.. and he is all ears to everything i sed.. i almost cried, good thing i didnt.. i dowanna ruin my makeup n ol.. hehe kidding aside... but,... he did! hehe (no offense dude! = P) he felt sad for wut happened.. and felt sorry for me as well. but i told him dat, "dont be sorry for me because i am not sorry for myself of loosing that guy".. and i also believe that it is not my loss.. i still cant figure out how he can tell me things and dont actually mean it and worse is dat he made me believe and understand things that aren't true.. itz really crap.. and i hate him for doing such.. in the last part of this breakup, he always accuse me on things.. get mad at me and tell me lame excuses.. im so stupid of all the things that i did.. and im regretting each and everyone one of it..

how i wish i didnt have the chance to meet him before.. how i wish i could turn back time.. if someone will ask me wut are d chances of me getting back at him.. as of now, i really dont know.. coz i still have diz deep feelings for this person.. and i hate it.. i want to get rid it.. i want to remove him completely in my life.. but.. i cant.. still cant.. i dunno y.. m sick of it.. only makes me wanna cry.. like now.. again.. i feel so uneasy not being with him nymore.. feels way, way different not having him around.. but i know its for d better and maybe for d best.. for both of us.. i juz ope he'll be happy with her now.. ope he'll treat her ryt and love her wholeheartedly...

why am i sad? i sure dont know.. ope ill find answers soon.. and can literally say that i've MOVED ON completely...

now im sitting here infront of my pc, doing this blog and still asking myself.. why am i sad....? is he actually worth being sad? damn this life...

mar, ced & elea..

2005-08-18T17:00:00.000+08:00

grbe, i so missed my csb friends.. barkada.. i went out last nyt and met up wit marielle, cedric n eleanor.. damn, how i wish asa csb p kme lahat.. sbrng kamiss cla! dame na nmin namiss out over the months na weren't able to bond life before.. 1st, i fetch mar den we went to elea's place.. man, parang dati! d endless kulitan, kwentuhan, asaran.. i swear.. i wuz happy dat i get to spend time with those 2 once again.. sayang nga kulang c abby and maricris... =( well nyway, sa sbrng kakachikahan ng mga lola 2magal na pla kme dun ng 2hours or so.. hehehe n "bebe" is waiting for us pa.. fyi, ung "bebe" namin is c ced.. ayun, then mar and i went der (to his place) bought a few drinks and juz made tambay.. saya.. e usually before talagang kmeng 3 ung magkasama pati shempre c abugi.. after school itz either tambay kme LP or in mah place.. hay... kung pwede lng ibalik ung b4.. kso everything seems to be changed.. and still changing.. part narin cguro ung tumtanda narin kme.. hehehe any how, we also talked about going back to school.. and ges wer!? sa U.P. diliman p talaga! o ha, taas ng pangarap...!Ü but there's a big chance naman na makapasok kme since mar & i graduated na.. and opefully, macredit ung minor subjects before.Ü la lang, sbrng namiss ko lng talaga ung mga lokarette na yan.. n i can say that there are those few true friends that i have.. ung talagang for keeps.. lavyah guys!Ü ope to see u soon....Ü

got this sa email.. ang sakit sobra! huhu =(

2005-08-17T17:40:00.000+08:00

In a relationship, one of the hardest things to do is saying goodbye and letting go. It is as hard as breaking a crystal because you'll never know when you will be able to pick up the pieces again.

More often than not, they who go feel not the pain of parting: it is they who stay behind that suffer, because they are left with memories of a love that was meant to be, a love that was.

At the beginning and at the end of a relationship, we are embarrassed to find ourselves alone.

Unfair as it may seem, but that's the way love goes. That's the drama, the bittersweet and the risk of falling in love. After all, nothing is constant but change. Everything will eventually come to its end without us knowing when, without us knowing how, without us even knowing why.

And we must forget not because we want to but because we have to. In letting go, sorrows come not as a single spy but in battalion. It seems that everywhere you go, everything you do, every song you hear, every turn of your head, every move of your body, every beat of your heart, every blink of your eye and every breath you take always reminds you of him.

It's like a stab of a knife, a torture in the night. Funny how the whole world becomes depopulated when only one person is missing. Just imagine, there are billion people on earth and yet it seems you feel lonely and empty without the other.

I don't know if it's worth calling an art, but letting go entails special skills sparkled with a considerable space and time. Time heals all wounds but it takes a little push on our part.

Acceptance plays a part. Not all love stories end with "...and they live happily ever after."

Sometimes we have to part because of circumstances beyond our control. We have to suffer if it would mean happiness for others. We have to cry to temporarily let go of the pains. Every beginning has its end like every dawn has its dusk. It's something we can't control, something we had to live up.

It's over. He's/shes gone. But life has to go on. Goodbye doesn't always mean forever. There will always be a place and time where questions will be answered, words will be spoken, letters will be read, poems will be recited in the night, songs will be sung in harmony, love will be expressed in solitude and promises will be fulfilled. Somewhere. Somehow. Someday."

"Some of us think holding on makes us strong; but sometimes it is letting go"

....... wen i read this, i cried.. i felt so down, n miserable coz i still cant cope up with wut happened.. i know and believed everything dat is written here and i know if i do such it's for d best.. not only to myself but to everyone who loves and cares for me still..

letting go.. a simple phrase with a deep meaning.. tz d hardest thing dat i have to do to redeem everything. sometimes i wonder, y love so unfair to me? karma? maybe.. and it really strikes so painfully dat at times i feel so hopeless and helpless.. it is like i cant even get up nymore with all the pain and sorrow that im going thru ryt now.. but wen i get to realize and re-assessed everything.. it really does make sense.. i just hope in time, ill move on.. for good... but knowing self.. i can never forget.. but i have to let go...

i have to admit.. i still love the person.. so much... =( ... i dunno wut to do nymre just for 1 whole day to get by and not thinking bout him.. im glad dat i still have some of my true friends to back me up and cheer me up for me to forget little by little that very person who successfully broke my heart once again ......

something i missed....

2005-08-17T17:10:00.000+08:00

itz been more dan 2 weeks i think since i started to hangout with mah besh gurl bud.. n i can say dat itz has been a blast.. there were a lot of issues that were resolved and talked about and i'm glad dat it happened. we succesfully revived everything we lost back then and i'm so thankful i still have her. i dont regret nything dat happened for i believe "everything happened for a reason.." itz an awakening for me and with a good purpose that is...